The Gift of Imperfection

By Tim Aiello MA LPC ADHD-CCSP ASDCS – Clinical Director & Therapist, Myndset Therapeutics

So many of us spend our lives chasing perfection. We think if we can just get it right we will finally feel good enough. We think if we can stop making mistakes or stop missing the mark we will finally earn peace. I have lived that chase. I have felt the crushing weight of thinking I had to be flawless just to deserve acceptance.

But here is the truth I have learned. Being perfect would be boring.

If we reached perfection there would be nothing left to explore. No more lessons to learn. No more moments where we surprise ourselves by doing something we once thought was impossible. Perfection would freeze us in place. We would stay the same forever. We would never stretch. We would never grow.

Growth is messy. It is full of moments where we trip over our own feet and try again. It is the awkward learning curves. It is the late night lightbulb moments where something finally clicks. It is the times we thought we failed but we were actually building resilience.

Imperfection is one of the best gifts life can give us because it allows us to actually experience life. If we were perfect there would be no reason to try new things. There would be no joy in finally figuring something out. There would be no satisfaction in overcoming a challenge we once thought was impossible. Without imperfection there would be no reason for courage and no reason for hope.

Imperfection is also what connects us. We bond with others over shared struggles. We swap stories about what went wrong and laugh about the times we thought it was the end of the world but turned out to be a turning point. Our rough edges are how we find our people. When we show the truth of who we are mistakes and all we invite others to do the same. That is how trust is built. That is how real relationships grow.

For those of us with ADHD, ASD, and RSD the idea of being perfect can feel like a survival strategy. If we are perfect maybe no one will criticize us. Maybe we will avoid rejection. But what perfection really does is keep us trapped in fear. It steals the joy of trying. It steals the pride of saying I worked for this.

We were never meant to be perfect. We were meant to be in motion. We were meant to be students of life forever. Every mistake we make shapes us into someone wiser. Every rough edge teaches us empathy. Every setback teaches us creativity. Every imperfect moment keeps us human and keeps life worth living.

Being perfect would mean the story is over. I do not want the story to be over. I want to keep turning pages.

Maybe life is not about becoming perfect at all. Maybe it is about learning how to be beautifully imperfect.