Small Transitions, Big Reactions: How My Nervous System Hijacks the Shift

By Tim Aiello, MA, LPC, NCC, ADHD-CCSP, ASDCS

Transitions wreck me.

I’m not talking about big life changes, either. I’m talking about the micro-shifts—the things most people wouldn’t even notice. A change in conversation topic. The moment I realize I need to shift positions while lying in bed. The temperature in the room suddenly dropping. Moving from my home office to the den at the end of the workday.

These moments shouldn’t feel catastrophic. But they do. They send my nervous system into a full-blown fight-or-flight response. My heart rate kicks up. My thoughts scatter.

My body tenses. Suddenly, everything feels “off” and I can’t quite figure out why.

And if you're neurodivergent—especially living with ADHD, Autism, or both (AuDHD)—you probably know exactly what I’m talking about.

Transitions Aren’t Neutral: They’re Demands

For neurotypicals, change is mildly inconvenient at worst. But for those of us with AuDHD, change demands everything: executive function, sensory recalibration, nervous system regulation, and emotional flexibility—all at once. And we’re often already maxed out.

Even something as simple as walking from my office to the den isn’t just a physical shift. It’s a total environmental reset. Different lighting. Louder sounds. People. Social expectations. Gone is my sensory bubble.

It’s not small. It’s not irrational. It’s a full-body response—and my nervous system treats it like danger.

Polyvagal Theory: The Science Behind the Overwhelm

According to Polyvagal Theory (Porges, 2011), our nervous systems constantly scan for cues of safety or danger through neuroception—a subconscious process. That means my body often reacts before my brain even has a chance to weigh in.

For people like me—those with ADHD and Autism—our nervous systems often live in a state of chronic sympathetic arousal. Our bodies are always preparing for the next threat because we’ve been trained to expect one.

So even a slight change in temperature, sound, or light can trigger that survival alarm.

Sensory Sensitivities Amplify the Reaction

With Autism and ADHD, sensory processing differences are a big deal. A flickering light, a noisy hallway, or even a colder room can hijack my focus and send me into a sensory spiral.

That’s why I keep lofi music playing in every room. It isn’t just background noise—it’s a sensory bridge. It gives my nervous system something predictable to hold onto when everything else is shifting.

Executive Dysfunction + Internal Transitions

Then there’s ADHD and executive dysfunction. Task-switching, mental flexibility, and motivation aren’t just hard—they can feel impossible.

I’ll know I need to move. I’ll want to move. But my body freezes.

Even internal transitions—like changing topics in a conversation, moving from work-mode to rest-mode, or shifting my posture in bed—can spark resistance. They’re invisible, but they’re real.

What Helps Me Regulate Through Transitions

I’ve developed some go-to strategies that help me and my clients move through transitions more gently:

🔊 Sensory Anchors

Lofi music, consistent lighting, and calming scents provide a sense of continuity across spaces.

⏳ Transition Buffers

I block off 10-15 minutes between tasks or environments to let my nervous system reset.

🗣 Verbal Cues

I’ll narrate aloud: “I’m getting up now.” It feels silly—but it works. It helps my brain and body shift in sync.

🔁 Micro-Routines

Changing clothes, lighting a candle, or closing my laptop intentionally creates a soft “end” and a clear “beginning.”

💛 Self-Compassion

This isn’t about motivation. It’s not laziness. It’s nervous system sensitivity. And that deserves compassion, not criticism.

Final Thoughts

Small transitions aren’t small for us. They are real, demanding, and sometimes exhausting.

But when we stop fighting them—and instead meet ourselves with tools, awareness, and grace—we start to reclaim our energy, our pace, and our peace.

You’re not broken. You’re beautifully attuned. And you deserve a world (and a rhythm) that honors that.

Want support navigating sensory and nervous system overwhelm?

Let’s connect at www.myndset-therapeutics.com

References

• Barkley, R. A. (2011). Executive functions: What they are, how they work, and why they evolved. The Guilford Press.

• Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

• Robertson, C. E., & Simmons, D. R. (2015). The relationship between sensory sensitivity and autistic traits in the general population. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 45(3), 751–760.